Enemy & adult type sms
Adult SMS Collection
1. Why do guys always have to say:
I'm going to court you now for you to be my girl.
Isn't it nicer to say:
Just love me now and be my girl and I'll court you forever!
2. Never reject a girl in life bcoz a gud girl gives u Happiness
and bad girls gives u experience..
Both r essential in life...So enjoy every girl Friend!!!!
3. If there is one mistake in my whole life that i can't tolerate. It is when i have loved, though I knew it wouldn't be appreciated.
4. Girl To A Tattoo Artist:
How Much Do U Charge For Tattooing
An Animal Just Above My Knee?
Artist: -£100 For Tiger,Rabit And Lion,
But Girraffe Is Free.
5. Q. Last but not least Secret of long life
A. Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night two legs
6. One day there was this naked man and elephant, the elephant looks at the naked man for a few seconds, ask the naked man, "HOW CAN YOU BREATH THROUGH THAT LITTLE THING?"
7. Teacher: Name some films that have almost same stories?
Pappu: Madam, Blue films.
8. Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!
9. Which Part...
of a man's body
has no bone
full of veins
loves pumping
and responsible 4
making LOVE!
ANSWER:
HEART!!! But i luv the way u think...
10. A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said
11. Fuck it off…
12. It's better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your life santhu
13. one day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked.
I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
14. Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
15. A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
16. there are 3 chambers in my heart.
1 for ALLAH
1 for ABBOO
1 for AMMEE
Oh wat about u dear?
Sorry no place 4 u in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bcoz
You Are MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17. I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.
18. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
19. A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
20. I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fuc***g nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.
21. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
22. Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?
23. I’m not under d affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as u drink.I fool so feelish and da drunker i stand here da longer i get
24. Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! hav
A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
25. Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.
26. Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
27. Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
28. Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
29. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!
30. See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her
31. Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
32. sardar `s girlfriend removed all of her clothes and said
" Treat me like your wife" sardar picked up her clothes and started to wash them ............!
33. Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
34. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
35. take me 2 a lonely place
make sure noone is watching
rip me naked
hold me by my waist take me to ur lips
and........................
have a break and have a kitkat.
36. Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?
Santa: I may also die.
Jeeto: Why?
Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.
37. 2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.
38. A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?
39. A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’
The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’
40. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
41. Love is a gamble,
Sex is a game,
Boyz do the thing
Girls get the blame,
1 night in pleasure
9 months of pain
1 day in hospital and
a junior needs a name
42. Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
43. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl :
“see i told you not to worry!!!!”
44. I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
45. Two men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
46. Three FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant
47. Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?
48. A girl phoned me
the other day and said …
“Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
I went over. Nobody was home
49. In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.
50. I want to suck you … lick you … wanna move my tongue all over you … wanna feel you in my mouth … yep, that’s how you … eat an ice cream!
51. If u Fuck a woman Nicely
U will b Loved for Lyf!
If u Luv a woman Nicely
U will b Fucked for Lyf!
Moral:
Strive for Quality Sex!
Which may equal Quality Luv-!
52. A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tits!
53. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
54. I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!
55. HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job
56. Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!
57. Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio
58. I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
59. I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...
60. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
61. Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
62. A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when theres a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
63. SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.
64. Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.
65. Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
66. When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.
67. American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
68. A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....
69. If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
70. Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!
71. Sex is evil and evil's a sin.but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
72. Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son
73. Peter Peter Pumpkin eater.had a wife & liked to beat her.smacked her twice around da head. F**ked her arse & went 2 bed
74. A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
75. Once a elephant asked a camel:"Why do u have boobs on ur back?"Camel replied:"thats a fucking good question from someone with a dick on his face."
76. Difference between a hen and prostitute? Hen: Cock-a-doodle do. Pros: Any cock will do.
77. Woman complaining to dentist: "I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filled!" Dentist: Decide so I can adjust the chair accordingly..!
78. Newton's 3 laws. 1.Every man has a pole, woman has a hole 2.When pole enters hole, it produces a new soul 3.When hand in motion, it produces lotion.
79. Whats the difference btween a microwave oven and a woman? A microwave oven doesn't scream when u put a piece of meat in it.
80. What is the height of safe SEX?....... person Masturbating with CONDOM on.
81. Why do women have their breast on top? Because if they had it down, the 'PUSSY' would drink all the milk !
82. Guy says: Remember the 1st time I used alcohol as a substitute for girl. Wat happen? Asked his friend. Guy: Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.
83. 5 road signs which best describe female organs 1.deep excavation 2. Slippery when wet 3. Stop on red signal 4. Slow down curves and hump 5. Men at work
84. A guy walks up to a sexy babe n asks her if she would like to take part in a magic trick. She said OK. He says lets go to my place we fuck and then I disappear.
85. Nipple Nipple dont be far, can I Press u in my car. Up above the chest so high, always milky never dry. Let me suck u don't feel shy, in the braziers u will die
86. Man walked into ladies toilet. Lady who was inside shouted 'THIS IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR WOMEN'. The man, unzipping his pants said, 'THIS TOO'!
87. Mobile is the only thing that a man proudly says - Mine is smaller than yours!
88. I Tried Phone Sex Once, But The Holes Were Too Small.
89. A woman gave birth to 6 babies, on seeing this she got off the hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted, "I told u not to do in doggy style."
90. Girl says: Mom, our neighbor's son have penis like peanut. Mom: Is it too small? Girl: No, its salty!!
91. Dear lady subscribers: due to a fault in magnetic field and signals of our service your handsets will vibrate for one hour So keep it in your pussy & enjoy! *Customer Care*
92. a kid asked the priest " father, what is your pastime? "the priest tapped the kid ' s shoulder and replied "Nun, my child, nun "
93. 75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.on their first night both were crying. why???coz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything
94. Touch it gently.. Put ur finger inside.. If hole is big put three fingers..Rub it up & down gently .......... that's the right way ofwashing the glass!!!!!
95. What is the difference between a Cricketer and a Condom?Cricketer drops the catch, and a Condom catchs the drops.
96. Why are women known as the best architects?Coz theyare the only one who can demolish an erection without damaging the structure...
97. Q.Why does the pleasure of Sex diminish after marriage?A: Because the realisation hits u that u are in bed with a relative.
98. Husband ask,"Do u know meaning of WIFE - Without Information Fighting Everytime!!!"Wife replies,"It means - With Idiot For Ever!!!
99. Son to Dad-Daddy, does a heart have legs? Dad-of course not! Son-don’t lie, I heard u saying ”sweet heart..spread ur legs!”
100. Woman: Teach me how to play tennis. Coach:Sure,hold the racket the way u hold ur lovers organ.Woman: ok Coach:Madam pls,take the racket out of ur mouth.
Misleading SMS
1. I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, I had to try it... i eased myself onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now
2. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
3. He came 2 me 1 nite... explored my body... licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill... wen satisfied he left... I was hurt... DAMN MOSQUITO
4. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
5. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
6. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!
7. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
8. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
9. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
10. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
11. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
12. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
13. I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed
14. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!
15. friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants
16. (_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
17. eight qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic, Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.
18. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
19. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
20. Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!
21. I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
22. Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a flat so how the damn do i know.
23. Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son.
24. Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon
25. Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!
26. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
27. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
28. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
29. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
30. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
31. I luv u- I luv u- I luv u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.Dont be mistaken.now dont be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed
32. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u... well get out of my way!
33. Girls misuse it!
Anger robs it!
Models sell it!
Photogrphs cage it!
Doctors advice it!
Death freezes it!
Artists create it!
That's SMILE
Keep Smiling..
34. Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6? long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?
Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words
Boy:dont worry its tooth brush
35. True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.
36. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
37. QUESTION:
What's pink and hard when it goes in... and soft and wet when it comes out?
ANSWER:
Bubblegum
38. whenever u feel sadness in your HEART,
blackness in your EYES,
paleness on your FACE,
fragrance in your it shows u are suffering lack of vitamin "ME".
39. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
40. All thats smile u make and hello say 2 wanted just I that out find U when irritating very it find will U..
R U CONFUSED?? Now read it BACKWARD.
41. It's a test to check your capability of Mathematics
But you have 2 read this msg for only once.......
ok!
R u ready??
Here We Go....
2+7
+9
-5
+4
+8
-2
+5
-4
+12
-8
THE QUESTIOS:
How many Times Did u Press The Button
42. Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin.
Where were u lastnite,
43. Mr inside lives with Mrs outside. Inside went outside leaving outside inside. Outside standing inside called
inside to come inside. But inside stayin outside called outside to come outside. so outside came outside and
inside went outside. oh, no where is ur mind now? inside or outside?
44. Its too heard to loose someone who is 99% cute, 98% sweet, 97% loving, 96% talented and 100% friendly,
Thats me, whats a waste of life if u loose me.
45. God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made daylight n called it the SUN.
God made entertainment n called it FUN.
God made nightlight n called it the MOON.
God made U n called CARTOON.
46. Last Night Shaitan Come In My Dream & Said That he Wantedto Disturb good People. I Gave Him ur Number
But He Said TO me thai : I Can't Disturb my Boss":.!
47. EYES: to look at u.HAND: to pray for u.MIND: to remember u.HEART: to make friendship with u.and LEG: to kick u if u forget me....So alkways remeber me!!!
48. 484884484888484888844484848 ?
49. good morning.......
have u done 2 of thae most important things when u woke up today????
1) pray , so that u may live long
2) take a bath so that other can live long......
50. What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN".
51. WARNING:
Cell Phone
Causes Radiation
& It Results In
Brain Damage !
But You are Safe.
It Only Affects
People With
Brains !!
How Lucky you are , No Brain No Pain:-
52. U r 20% Fantastic,
U r 20% Attractive,
U r 20% Loveable,
U r 20% Terific,
U r 20% Understandable,
Inshort U r 100% F.A.L.T.U.
53. Some times small things in life hurts a lot….
If u don’t agree with me… . . . . . . . . . . . .
TRY TO SIT ON A PIN….:-)
54. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 ~ !@ # $%^&*
Thank God All Boutons Of My Cell r Fine.
Sorry 2 Distrb u
55. In your life 4 thing come anytime:
1 LOVE
2 FRIENDSHIP
3 MONEY
4 ?????????
"SUSU"
So do it be4 sleep it can come at any time.
56. hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...
57. When u feel, That nobody loves u, Nobody cares 4 u, & every 1 is ignoring you, N hating u, U should ask urself, Sala
58. you"
yes you
u really disspointed me
i trusted u so much but UR big mouth is never SHUT
why don't u stop telling others my secret?
that
I M CUTE !!
59. If u Punch me,I dont mind
If u Punch me,I dont mind
If u Hurt me,I dont mind
If u Use bad language2 me,I dont mind
If u Insult me,I dont mind
Bcause U R MY "ATM CARD"...
60. Those Sparkling Eyes
Those Sparkling Eyes
That Amazing Face
A 100watt smile
The Enthu Stride
The Cheerful Talk
Charming stud
I'm still The same
hw r u?...wts up?
61. My Principle Of Life
If Someone Throws a Stone At You..
Throw a Flower At Him,
But..
Make Sure The Flower is Still in The Flower-Pot
62. LATEST VERSION OF ALPHABETS.......
A: ARISTOCRATE
B: BEGPIPER
C: CONTESSA
D: DIRECTOR SPECIAL
E: EIGHT PM
F: FUN DROP
G: GOD FATHER
H: HEYWARDS 5000
I: IMPERIAL BLUE
J: JHONEY WALKER
K: KING FISHER
L: LIME DROP
M: MUGHAL MONARCH
N: NICHOLAS NO. 1
O: OLD MUNK
P: PETER SCOT
Q: QUEEN CHOICE
R: ROYAL STAGE
S: SIGNATURE
T: TEACHER'S
U: UNIBOUL
V: VAT 69
W: WHITE HALL
X: XXX RUM
Y: YANKEY
Z: ZINGAROO
63. Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, a great smile the perfect walk, smoothest talk, absolute gorgeous, thts enough bout me... how r u ?
64. SEX SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly.
Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX,
S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday;)
65. Flowers die
stories end
Songs fade
Memories Ragotten
All things come to End
But..........
People like U always remain 4rever
Bcz
GHOST NEVER DIE
66.
1
Message received
1
cute friend sent it
1
monkey is reading it
1
monkey is angry
1
monkey is still reading
1
will forward the msg 2 another monkey.
you continue to read?
67. two men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
John: What does your wife look like?
Linkon: She is 5?7?, 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?
John: Forget mine, let us look for yours.
68. Heart beat are countless, spirits are ageless, dreams r endless, memories are timeless and a friend like u is Useless. Oops! Sorry Yaar, Priceless
69. God made butter, god made cheese; god made you for me to squeeze.
God made whiskey, god made Pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!
70. Some One
Is Loving you
Caring for you
Watching over you
Protecting you
Guess Who?
Neighbour's Dog!
71. Put your hand on my hand
&
hold my back with your other hand
touch your lip with my lips
&
taste how hot I am
do this everyday
don’t b confuse I am you tea cup.
72. Son kills butterfly, Dad says no butter for 2 weeks.
Son kills honeybee, Dad says no honey for 2 weeks.
Mom kills cockroach, Son says, Dad will you tell her or should I??
73. On a ship Captain Blackmails a girl
“If u dont sleep wd me I’ll sink d ship”
Later,She sms hr husbnd
“U mst b proud of me,
I saved 600 pasngrs 9 times in 2 days
74. AOA.
You are invited on My Marrige Ceremony,
Venue is Akbar-e-azam Banquet Hall, Lahore
on 29th Feb 2009 5 pm.
Plz join me
Thanks
75. Long ago, Men who sacrificed their
love, youth, parents, identity,
laughter and their happines
were called SAINTS!
Now they are called HUSBANDS!
76. Man 1: I do not want to marry.
Because I am afraid of all women.
Man 2: Get marry soon.
Then you will be afraid of
only one woman and start loving the rest
77. Some randome facts.
1. An elephant shits half its weight in two days.
2. A man’s penis is 3 times the length of his thumb.
3. 2 multiplied by 2 equals 4.
4. the final fact:
A woman would have finished reading
these facts by now,
but a man would still be checking the size of his thumbs.
78. Wife to husband:
why are you walking around naked.?
Neighbors can see your things.
Husband: So what..!
Wife: They will think I married you for money.
79. Remember: No matter how bad you are.
You are not totally useless…
You can still be used as a bad example.
80. She offered him Honour.
He honoured her offer.
Then the whole night,
in honour of her offer.
He was “on her” and “off her”.
81. :: Before Marriage ::
Boy: Finally the day come
Girl: Would you leave me?
Boy: No way don’t ever think about it.
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes of course
Girl: Is there any other girl in your life?
Boy: No, not at all.
Girl: Do you live with me rest of your life?
Boy: Yes Dear!
Girl: Oh, Dear
:: After Marriage ::
Read it [...]
82. Never ever reject any girls in your life..!
Because,
A good girls gives you happiness.
and
Bad girls gives you experience!
83. difference between good girls
and very good girls.
Good girls open few buttons
when environment is hot.
Very good girls open all buttons
to make environment hot.
84. Friends I am collecting Gandhi’s photos.
Please give your contribution to my collection.
A small condition is, It must be on
100, 500 or 1000 rupees note only.
85. For India its Ind.
For Pakistan its Pak.
For Afghanistan its Afg.
For Argentina its Arg.
For Germany its Ger.
Then what’s for Brazil
86. Pappu: Dad how was I born?
Dad: well son, your Mom & I got to gether at ‘YAHOO’
we set us a date via E-Mail, & Met in a cyber cafe,
Your Mom agreed to dowload data from my PEN DRIVE,
JUST when I was about to “Transfer”
we realised that none of us have installed “FIREWALL”
IT was too late [...]
87. Degrees of girls….!
B.A = Beautiful Angel
B.E = Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc = Beautiful Structure
L.L.B = Lovely Lifp and Body
M.B.A = Married but Available
88. Some people have nice Eyes,
Some people have nice Face,
Some People have nice Smile.
But you have
.
.
.
.
.
Just Leave It…!
89. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
90. If ever I was rude to u,
If ever I was angry with u,
If ever I misbehaved with u,
then don’t hesitate,
JUST SLAP URSELF
mistake aap ki hi hogi :p
91. Love is possible after friendship
but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
later nothing can be cured….!!!
92. When things go wrong,
when sadness fills your heart &
when tears flow 4rm your eyes,
just let me know.
.
.
cause I want 2b there 4 U!
I am selling TISSUES, BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!
93. I always think about U.
I can’t live without U.
I really need U.
I’m totally mad about U.
I just wanna be with U.
I’m crazy 4 U.
I wanna marry U.
I LOVE U.
(My neighbour say all this to me)
94. Sectary saw his boss pant zip open.
She tells him, Sir your garage is open.
Bos: Did you see my Pagero Jeep?
Sectary: No, I saw a small scooter with
two punctured wheels.
95. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
96. Teacher: Make a sentence using word “HAND”
Student: My penis in your hand.
Teacher slapped him.
Student: Sorry, I just forget to give space after “PEN”.
97. A girl to doctor: when I smoke cigarette,
I feel very uncomfortable,
On first puff, I put off my shoes.
On second, my socks.
On third, my shirt.
Doctor: take this cigarette and tell me in detail.
98. True relatives always
stand behind u during bad times.
Check ur marriage album.
All your relatives were standing behind u!
99. When the time comes for you to give
your heart to someone,
make sure that u select someone who
will never break your heart,
coz broken hearts have no spare parts.
100. Yesterday whole night i
was thinkin abt only U
Now i'm
thinking of "V".
Tonight i'll definitly
think abt w,x,y and z
Angry SMS Collection !
1. A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, "You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!" Tryinghis best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, "Take it easy Dear, Can't you see I'm trying to taper off?"
2. The angry wife met her husband at the door. His breath stunk ofalcohol and his face was plastered with lipstick. "I assume," shebarked, "there is a very good reason for you to come drifting inat six o'clock in the morning?" "There is!" he replied, "Breakfast."
3. Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
4. Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
5. Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
6. Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.
7. Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
8. If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.' When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods.
9. If you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase.
10. do u remembr ur childhod? wen u went to a toy shop nd asked shopkeper-Ancle hw much cost of dat monkey?...nd shop keper rply-that is a mirror my child..
11. Love+ship=Titanic
Dinosar+Forest=Jurasic park
Arnold+Gun=Terminator
U+ur smile=The mummy returns
12. This Century Is Truly LIFELESS:
Communication: WIRELESS
Cooking:FIRELESS
Youth:JOBLESS
This Msg: MEANINGLESS
Sender:PRICELESS
Reader:USELESS
13. Ill ask a que U should answer only by saying yes or no.Here is the que... Do ur parents know that u r a mental patient???
14. Plz Dont Neglect This
Msg
A Poor Boy
Suffering Frm Mental
Disorder Needs Shock
Treatment
Plz Send Ur Photo
So That
He Gets The
PROPER SHOCK
15. A Bf Brought Present 4 His GF
GF(After Opening)
What D Hell Wud I Do Wid Dis Diwali Rocket ?
BF : U Wanted Stars Na?
Now Sit On It N Get Lost!!
16. Superman is Flying
Spiderman is Jumping
Batman is Running
Hitman is Fighting
Gentleman is Sending SMS
Douberman is reading SMS
HaHaha.
17. Ha
HaHa
HaHaHa
HaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHa
HaHaHaHaHaHa
Nothing,
I suddenly remembered ur face..?
Oh my god..?
Wat a funny creation..
18. You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar
19. Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?
20. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
21. Haven't I seen your face before - on a police poster?
22. Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
23. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
24. Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.
25. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
26. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...
27. I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high.
28. You've got the perfect weapon against muggers - yer face.
29. Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice...
30. U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!
31. Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty..so the world needs YOU after all!
32. Your face looks like you've been using it as a doorstop
33. I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
34. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
35. Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing
36. Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
37. Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
38.
You=lovely
You=perfect
You=beautiful
You=amazing
You=sweet
You=cute
You=genius
You=fantastic
You=fabulous
Me=liar
39. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there .
40. Hello,
U R So,
art!
S art!
m
s art!
m
s art!
s artm!
ms art!
ms art!
ms art!
ms art!
SORRY,
this doesn't fit u..
41. U r a nice person...
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....
42. R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now.
43. Government of Pakistan has introduced a new rule...
Good looking people should be thrown out of country!!! U r safe..oh! No where should I Hide???
44. Disturbing you...
new software has been introduced. Any 2 persons having it in their mobiles can send free SMS 2 each other.
To install it in ur mobile follow instructions otherwise ur mobile may be damaged. Press Down
Press Up
Wrong key pressed,Ur Mobile damaged
45. Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
46. Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?
47. Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom
& without ugliness there can be no beauty..
so the world needs YOU after all!
48. Why does a stupid blond girl never swim on her belly? ...
When she feels something wet she turn on her back.
49. U r sweet like
TOM
Cute like
JERRY
Naughty like
BUGGS BUNNY
Clever like
ALADIN,
Strong like
POPYE
INSHORT
ChaLtay phirTay CaRtoOn haIn aAp
Many Many Happy Resturns of the day 2 U
50. I"d love to ask how old you are,
but unfortunately I know you can"t count that high.
51. Events will take their course, it is no good of being angry at them; he is happiest who wisely turns them to the best account.
52. It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.
53. I have to be honest with myself. I think I am going to get booed badly. I am very well aware that some fans are very angry.
54. It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
55. Do something that makes a difference - because, by God, there's a lot to make you angry.
56. I would rather players get angry when they're dropped than take it lying down.
57. An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.
58. When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.
59. The worst-tempered people I've ever met were people who knew they were wrong.
60. Anger is a bad counselor.
61. Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him.
62. Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
63. Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
64. Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.
65. If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other.
66. Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
67. Not the fastest horse can catch a word spoken in anger.
68. If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot.
69. In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
70. The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough.
71. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
72. Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I"m going to mine.
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
73. Those beautiful eyes,
that incredible body,
such a brain,
a sexy mouth,
nice smile ....
but that is enough about me,
tell me how you are?
74. Scientists all over the world r wondering,
how long a human being can live without brain.
Please tell them ur age.
75. U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!
76. Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all
switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local
criminals, as I did.
77. I can"t Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!
78. Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:
A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat
50/50
Phone a friend?
Ring me! I will tell you!
Press Down if u think u r MAD.
79. With all the Rose's Perfume & with all the lights in the world & with all the children's Smiles...
I Wish U that ur all dreams comes True..
*HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007
80. Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.
81. 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
82. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there .
83. U r a nice person...
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....
84. R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now.
85. Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
86. I m D best
I can prove it
I can c the T in T cup
Can u c the world in world cup?
I can send my address to your mobile
Can u send ur mobile to my address
87. Scientists all over the world r wondering,
how long a human being can live without brain.
Please tell them ur age.
88. He would throw a drowning man both ends of the rope just to see the look on his face.
89. Get a glass belly button, so when your head is real far up your butt, you can look out and see what the rest of the world is up to.
90. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
91. Get mad, then get over it.
92. I have lots of jokes in my inbox,
But I can’t send you all of them,
It will take a lot of time,
So I’m sending you just 1 joke
.
.
.
“You are so beautiful”
93. touch ur heart, u will feel the rhythm of ur heartbeat.
touch ur head u will feel the rhythm of empty pot.tin...tin..
94. Scientific Question For U.. How Does Blood Reach Ur Brain,,.. Simple.. Direction Of Liquid Is Always Towards The EMPTY SPACE.. HaHaHa
95. Close ur eyes n think about yourself,
ur face
ur style
ur nature
ur smile
ur looks
Now open your eyes
Free main HORROR film
96. Take a bowl…
fill it with grapes
Put ur hand in it..
Go in front of the mirror…
U know what ull find???
Langur ke haath mein angoor
97. There is nothing more galling to angry people than the coolness of those on whom they wish to vent their spleen.
98. Anger is one letter short of danger.
99. Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.
100. Never write a letter while you are angry.
I Like You SMS
Sweet Heart SMS
Dating SMS
Be Romantic SMS
Always Romantic
Be My Partner
I Love You SMS
Never Forget U
Kiss SMS
Valentine Day
Friendship SMS
Hello Friend
Be My Friend
Miss You SMS
Don't Forget Me
SMS Me
Friends Unlimited!
Only Friends
Friends Forever
Friendship Day
Funny SMS
Smile SMS
ASCII KeyBoard SMS
Abbreviatio SMS
Sweet SMS
Cute SMS
SMS Jokes
Hot SMS
Cool SMS
double meaning SMS
Be Happy SMS
Greetings SMS
Good Luck SMS
Get Well Soon SMS
Best Wishes SMS
Good Morning SMS
Nice Day SMS
Good Night SMS
Bless SMS
Always Happy SMS
Adult SMS
Miss Lead SMS
Angry SMS
Rude SMS
Naughty SMS
Fool & Foolish
Dirty SMS
Flirt SMS
Insult SMS
Apology SMS
Anniversary SMS
Happy New Year
May Day SMS
Eid ul Fitre SMS
Independence Day
Diwali & Holi
Halloween SMS
Puja & Rakhi
Christmas SMS
Thanksgiving Day
Weeding SMS
Marriage Day
Husband SMS
Wife SMS
Life Partner
Father SMS
Mother SMS
Brother SMS
Sister SMS
Happy Birth Day
Advice SMS
Human Right
Quote SMS
Wise SMS
Thoughts of the Day
Inspirational
Want Freedom
Love Quote
Global Peace
Success SMS
Political SMS
Poetry SMS
Tricky SMS
Dream SMS
Thinking about U
Santa Banta SMS
Sarder SMS
Puzzle SMS
Thank You
Computer SMS
Slip of the Tongue
Sad SMS
Tongue Twister
Daring SMS
Sympathy
Funny Comment
Exam SMS
Selfish SMS
Fear Winner
Romantic Idea
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Rude SMS Collection !
1. How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden,
Neither can balance a checkbook &
Both put too much value on kissing.
2. If ever I was rude to u,
If ever I was angry with u,
If ever I misbehaved with u,
then don’t hesitate,
JUST SLAP yourself
3. Make love to ur galfriend on Valentine day.
She’ll give u good news on Mothers day &
U’ll have a child on children`s day.
Don’t try this on everybody.
Coz U’ll have bad news on Dec 1
4. “LOVE” .What a heavenly thing, what a heavenly word….
but do u know what is LOVE?
L= Loss
O= Of
V= Valuable
E= Energy….
So don’t LOVE..
5. Today is the birthday of Donald Duck..
Wish him happy birthday and send this
sms to every cartoon as i did…..
6. Can we do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
“MOSQUITO”
7. One who surrenders when he is wrong is HONEST,
One who surrenders when he is not sure is WISE,
One who surrenders even when he is sure that he is right is HUSBAND…
8. Wife asked his husband how many women he had slept with?
Husband proudly replies, only you darling, with others I was awake!!
9. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.
10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “go to hell”
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s
Empty and so is your head.
11. Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl’s empty,
And so is your head.
12. “CONGRATS” U have been awarded an M.B.A degree
For not Smsing me.
MBA means ‘Member of Beggers Association’
Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A’s.
13. From Moon to Sun, From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u
have never changed.
For me, you’ve always been…
a headache !
14. Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?
15. Are you free tonight, or will it cost me? I'm new in town, can you give me directions to your flat?
16. One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
17. You don't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again you don't know the meaning of most words.
18. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
19. The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2.If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
20. Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?
21. On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
22. Mobile phones are the only things in live of which men talk about having the smallest.
23. Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over but when u pull a panty the show begins...
24. A man said 2 his doctor 'everytime I look in the mirror I get an erection' the doctor said 'That's because u look like a cunt!
25. When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!
26. Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
27. Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot
28. Sorry! Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
29. Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wid a throb of his nob in her gob,Wid a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a good job!
30. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
31. helllo freind,,,,,,I just want to inform all of u friend,,, that ,.,.,.In this selfish world nobody is sincere, whenever u find such friend pls pls pls never let him/her go,.,.,. thanx
32. u don't know d meaning ov d word "fear" - bt then again u don't know d meaning ov most words.
33. The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn’t it rain on you?
34. How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ...... ... .. ........ ..... ......... .. .... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
35. When I was young I begged God for a bike, but God does not work that way... so I stole a bike and begged for forgiveness!
36. Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot.
37. I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets:
one to get in and another to get out.
38. Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...
Enough about ME! How about you?
39. Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
40. BEAUTY doesn't make love but love makes BEAUTY
BREAK everything but never BREAK the HEART
hEART iz the music, PLAY it but never play WITH it.
41. On de door of a toilet....Some people come here 2 sit &
wonder, I come here 2 shit like thunder!
42. How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it
43. I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
44. I’m at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up!
45. Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
46. The fluffy clouds may kiss the sky, The rose may kiss the butterfly, The morning dew may kiss the grass,But u my friend can kiss my ass!
47. What did God say after creating man? I can do much better.
48. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 20 pounds and a mother-in-law.
49. How do you keep an idiot in suspense............?? Tell you later........
50. You've got SEX APPEAL ... u've got INTELLIGENCE ... u've got CLASS ... u got da FACE, u got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY
51. Why did they call it PMS? Mad cow disease was already taken!
52. Text messaging is like a blow-job of an amateur prostitute; short, sweet and always cheap!!!
53. Press Down
....
....
....
Press Up
....
....
....
Oh! ur phone is working then, U LIAR!
54. A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection, a picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING me as ur friend is a form of... Good Taste!
55. What is 10 inches long- 2inches thick and starts with a p??? A really good crap
56. if i tell you this ur not to tell anyone,ur the only one ive told so far cos your a good friend but guess whos due in 2 months!... FUCKING SANTA
57. i just got my medical results. my condition is critical,as days pass by i bcom SEXIER & SEXIER but dnt worry its not contagious......u wont get it!
58. X35 (l33U
h77V3J + hUJOH
W,I 3W d73H
35V37d
Can you crack the code? If not
try turning your phone upside
down...
59. Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr i've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!
60. If flowers were dreams that would last for ever, I would pick the most beautiful ones to send to you
61. Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!
62. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.
63. Light bulb's love declaration: I love you a whole watt!
64. Two sausages are in a frying pan. First sausage says: "It's hot in here". Second sausage replies: "Eeek, a talking sausage!"
65. Conscience is the inner voice, which warns us that someone may be looking.
66. If it weren't for the fact that the TV and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
67. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
68. Behind every SUCCESSFUL woman, there is a SATISFIED man,
but behind every SATISFIED woman there is an EXHAUSTED man...
69. ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
70. The trouble with life is there is no background music.
71. Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you.
72. I love the spring mornings, the afternoons in autumn, the winter evenings and the summer nights....but you I love more !
73. A chrysanthemum by any other name would be much easier to spell
74. CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION
As of May 2001 Viagra will
only be available through
chemists by its chemical
name.So please ask for
MYCOXAFLOPPIN
Thank you
75. FARMER SAYS 2 HIS WIFE IF U HAD BIGGER TITS WE COULD GET RID OF THE COWS, WIFE REPLIED IF U HAD A BIGGER COCK WE COULD GET RID OF THE TRACTOR DRIVER!
76. what does a pizza delivery boy & a gynecologist have in common?....
They can both smell it but not eat it.
77. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
78. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.
79. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
80. Baby from bottom of my heart you are the only one i can love from the feeling of my heart and sould you are the one i feel baby i will die for you just to have your love.
81. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
82. Can I snap your picture so I can show Santa what I gotta have for xmas?
83. Two sausages are in a frying pan. First sausage says: "It's hot in here". Second sausage replies: "Eeek, a talking sausage!"
84. Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
85. Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the f****** book says!
86. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
87. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there .
88. Piss the taking is someone that realise u this like times at its! NOW READ IT BACKWARDS!!
89. A man can kiss his wife goodbye.A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass! so the world needs YOU after all!
90. Have you ever been to the moon ? no ! sit on my rocket and I will take you there
91. Shes down on her knees,
Eager to please,
Wid a throb of his nob in her gob,
Wid a tingle in his belly,
his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a good job!
92. 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo ... one was caught watching tv ... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
93. How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
94. T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.
We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u. not even a network
95. (_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
96. Nature is a miracle. One million years ago no one knew people would wear glasses but our ears are at the right spot.
97. I worte your name in the sand but it got washed away,
i wrote your name in the sky but it got blew away,
i wrote your name in my heart where it will stay...
98. Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life, but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart.
-
-
-
-
u left urs in mine
99. Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If you can't make me sexy, please make all my friends fat. Amen.
100. On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
Naughty SMS
1. CONGRATS.Your phone has been installed with a new puzzle game. To play,throw your phone against the wall.Then assemble the pieces....
2. Come here,take off urs pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied, loving urs.....toilet!
3. Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u lastnite,
4. Press down down more Ok more YES ahh ohh yes almost there yeah oh shit harder SO GOOD ! mmmmm That's how I sex on text !
5. I really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room.on my bed&lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
6. He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left,
i was hurt,
BLOODY... MOSQUITO !!!!
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Very good!
Intelligent Ho!
Tomorrow A-B-C-D
7. oT TnAW T2UL I
+THpinboop YA2
!..2mA3rb T33w2
! .. niH)A2 2'rU
Confused ? Read it in a mirror.. Now...
Bye!
8. What is the height of Flirting?
When your love letter starts with "TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN"
9. BUY A SCOOTY.....PICK UP A BEAUTY,DRINK A FROOTY.... TAKE HER TO OOTY,REMOVE HER NIGHTY...DO UR DUTY.,AFTER 9 MONTHS ... GET A CUTY
10. !@#$$##$$$^%&())+)*(&*&^%$#@@@#$$%^^^&&*(__(*&%$ ##@#&*&?"}::_+|+_)*(^%$##$%
11. this is your mobile operator we can see that you are too dump to use your mobile please put it on the floor and start jumping on it
12. It's better to stay away from girls. Only one or two can bring SMILE to your life, remaining will steel your HAPPINESS from your life
13. A husband was stung by a bee on his pnes and it became swollen. His wife prayed, "Oh God may you remove off the pain and leave the size as it is
14. Difference b/w panties of 1970 & 2000 :- In the 70's you had to pull down panties to see the buttocks,In 2000, you have to seperate the buttocks to see the panties
15. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
16. old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. the engraver shortened it to " RETURNED UNOPENED
17. Niple niple little star
can i suck you in my car
up above the breast so have
always milky never dry
let me touch it never shy
in the bra it will be dry
18. I really deeply wish that you are here with me in my room. on my bed & lights off & we get under the cover together..
to show u my glow in the dark watch.
19. Catch her by her waist
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
&
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Have a Nice PEPSI drink!
20. four road signs which stands in front of a woman’s vagina….
1.Caution-dark tunnel
2.Drive carefully-road wet n slippery.
3.Go slow.
4.Men at work
21. A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
A Kiss isn’t a Kiss without some tongue
So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
And Give your tongue some exercise
22. What’s the closest thing to a woman’s period?
Your salary.
It comes once a month,
lasts About 3 or 4 days and if it doesn’t come, everything’s fucked
23. Sardar wid Grandson. Late night Shouts, “I need a Girl,I have an
Erection!” Gson says,”1st its too Late,2nd u r 75yrs Old,3rd d Cock u holding is
mine”
24. Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife’s underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?
25. The most difficult golf course in the world is… “Women Hole” any
style you play… as many shots you try… & as much perfection you have… you
can never get your balls in…!!!
26. Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people)
like NIKE (just do it)
like PEPSI(ask for more)
like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and
like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
27. How To Teach Mathematics To A Girl.
1st add lips
2nd minus clothes
3rd divide legs
and then start Multiplication in the Sweetest Point.
28. Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch the poor dog a bone. but
when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own
29. How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
30. I hereby place you under arrest for violating code 69 - distracting public with your xtreme good looks & sex appeal, remain silent & report to my bedroom.
31. I will go inside
32. I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.
She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.
sucked me till my face went ORANGE till
i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS
33. Last night, I went to bed without u..cold, naked, thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u last nite,
34. What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful, intelligent, understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumor!
35. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
“Can kids of our age have kids?”
Teacher replied” NO Never!!”
Boy said to girl:
“See I told you not to worry!!!!”
36. Never dance naked because the body has parts that do not stop moving when the music stops.
37. Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them.
Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
38. It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
39. HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub
tease pamper console worship respect & love.
HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job
40. A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,
who opens her heart receives love,
who opens her legs receives happiness
41. A teacher asked “what part of the body goes to heaven first?”
A child replied “feet” - coz every night i see my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!
42. Hello sexy, unwear ur maxy…
43. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $$$ per minute.
44. American students say: people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.
45. Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation, putting his location in a
woman’s destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a
demonstration?;)
46. A man reads a book in a bed next to his wife his finger went
to tease his wife’s pussy.
Wife asks “you want sex?”. “No,just to wet my finger to turn the
page!”
47. lady :” doctor, i feel very weak.”
dr: ” how many times do u have sex?”
lady: ” 5 times, mon- fri.”
dr: ” cut down wed.”
lady:” but thats the only day i m with my husband!
48. A chinese doctor says a woman has 5 rooms :-
Face is Showroom
Breast is Playroom
Stomach is Store room
Vagina is a Guest room
Ass is a Emergency room.
49. What is the similarity between man & mouse ?
= Both of them are in the search of hole !
50. LIFE is like a PENIS. sometimes up,stms down. stms h! ard,stms
soft.
stms big,
stms small. stms in,stms out. so ,enjoy PENIS..oops,I mean LIFE.
51. A man was traveling in a train with 3 babies
A woman inquired - Do these babies belong 2 u?
Man: No, I work in a condom factory n
these r customers’ complaints.
52. Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.
Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know?
53. English teacher: Make a sentence using neither-nor?
Boy: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, neither are they comfortable nor we
54. A Short thing
It gets Longer
when U hold it
N pass between
women Breasts
N enters into
A hole
What is it?
1 min 2 think!
Car Seat Belt
U dirty mind.
55. Skin meets Skin
When is that
the skin meets skin,
hair meets hair
n balls disappear..
dirty mind
its when
u BLINK UR EYES
56. Q: Whats the difference between a computer and a woman?
A: A computer doesn't laugh at a 3½ inch floppy.
57. Met a girl the other day who has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's amazing, if you put your ear to it you can smell the sea!
58. Hey dude Congrats! Heard u got selected as the first male model for Whisper advertisement. Why should girls have all the fun.
59. Daughter: Mummy that man gave me 10 rupees to climb that tree.
Mother: Stupid !He wanted to see ur panty.
Daughter: I am clever I din't wear any of them.
60. Boy (to girl): What's there in between your legs?
Girl: Hell! And what's there in between your legs?
Boy: A sinner, who wants to go to hell.
61. Girl & Boy were having sex.
Girl: Darling, I want you to kiss my lips!
Boy: Sure, which 1 would you prefer first, lower lip or upper lip?
Girl: Middle lips, the ones right in the middle of my legs.
62. Lady1: How come your husband is always home on time?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. SEX will be at 9PM, whether you are here or not.
63. An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!
64. Colour of underwear reflects your mood:
Red - Wild,
Black - Sexy,
Blue - Romantic,
Pink - Seductive
White - Calm,
Yellow - time to change your undrewear!
65. A dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".
66. Wives r incoming calls,
Lovers r outgoing calls,
Aunties r Toll-free calls,
Callgirls r Roaming calls,
Neighbour girls r Missed Calls.
67. It’s short thing, gets longer when u hold it, and pass between women breasts, and enters into a hole. What is it?
Car Seat Belt, you dirty mind.
68. Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)
69. A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
70. A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.
71. Sounds women make during sex.
1) Asthmatic - ah.ahh.ah..ah.
2) Obedient - yes.yes..yes.
3) Unsatisfied - more. more...more.
4) Religious - oh god. oh god.
72. Do you like mathematics? If so, add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
73. Why do 90%
of the girls have a bigger left breast ?
) (
( .)( . )
) (
because....
90% of the
boys are
right handed..
74. In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.
He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"
75. Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.
76. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)
77. A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
78. ( ')
/ / in love !
/ /
( ) )
, ( ') engaged
/ , '
( ) )
married
, - - .
( ) )'(, )
79. What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
80. A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
81. A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
82. After Big Success of,
MS Word,
MS Excel,
MS Power Point etc.
Microsoft Launched New software related 2 cricket
MS Dhoni :)
83. friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true
warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx
84. (_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse
(_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!
85. Eight qualities of a PERFECT boyfriend... Brave,Intelligent, Gentle,Polite, Energetic,
Non-alcoholic, Industrious, Self-organised. In short, B.I.G.P.E.N.I.S.
86. He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since
he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!
87. Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have
a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!
88. Viagra now available in eye drops, you don't get an erection but you look hard!
89. I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday.
Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
90. I think i should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!!!!!
91. I wish I was a teddy bear, that lay upon your bed, so everytime you cuddled it,
you cuddled me instead
92. baby i have an addiction problem.people say i shud go to rehab but i always tell
them i dont wanna go cause im addicted to ... YOU
93. Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls
destination.do u get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
94. I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your arse!
95. Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and
we can multiply!
96. I'm like a rubrix cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.
97. I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
98. Of all the babes ur my selection.please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are
clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
99. If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I
meet U between the holidays?
100. north 2 north south 2south my best direction is mouth 2mouth
Foolish SMS
1. O FOOL you are the most BeautiFOOL, WonderFOOL & WolorFOOL Among all FOOLS
2. Every thing is incomplete without 'me'.
__mory
__lody
co__dy
ti__
ga__
so__thing
__aning
__eting
even the __ssage
So dont 4get 'ME'!!
3. A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
Now its 2 late dont try to change ur finger! Catch another fool
4. WARNING ! ! !
This is a VIRUS . . .
When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN
5. This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.
6. In your life, when you wake up & don't see any one, then come to me, i'll be there to hold ur hand & take you to the EYE SPECIALIST
7. When the grass was closely mown,
Walking on the lawn alone,
In the turf a hole I found,
And hid a soldier underground.
Spring and daisies came apace;
Grasses hide my hiding place;
Grasses run like a green sea
Oer the lawn up to my knee.
8. Is it so small a thing
To have enjoyed the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done?
9. No Winter lasts forever, no Spring skips its turn.
April is a promise that May is bound to keep, and we know it.
10. An altered look about the hills;
A Tyrian light the village fills;
A wider sunrise in the dawn;
A deeper twilight on the lawn;
A print of a vermilion foot;
A purple finger on the slope;
A flippant fly upon the pane;
A spider at his trade again;
An added strut in chanticleer;
A flower expected everywhere ...
11. Beauty is a form of genius - is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon
12. Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie.
13. From some home a jade flute sends dark notes drifting,
Scattering on the spring wind that fills Lo-yang.
Tonight, if we should hear the willow-breaking song,
Who could help but long for the gardens of home?
14. In the landscape of Spring there is neither
better or worse.
The flowering branches grow naturally,
some long, some short.
15. I think that no matter how old or infirm I may become, I will always plant a large garden in the spring.
Who can resist the feelings of hope and joy that one gets from participating in natures rebirth?
16. I sing of brooks, of blossoms, birds, and bowers:
Of April, May, or June, and July flowers.
I sing of Maypoles, Hock-carts, wassails, wakes,
Of bridegrooms, brides, and of the bridal cakes.
17. When the time is ripe for certain things,
these things appear in different places in the manner
of violets coming to light in the early spring.
18. O Day after day we cant help growing older.
Year after year spring cant help seeming younger.
Come lets enjoy our winecup today,
Nor pity the flowers fallen.
19. Lord, what fools these mortals be.
20. The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself a fool.
21. A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool.
22. Wise men learn by other mens mistakes, fools by their own.
23. Young men think old men fools, and old men know young men to be so.
24. For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
25. A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
26. Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark, or the man afraid of the light?
27. Dont approach a goat from the front, a horse from the back, or a fool from any side.
28. A fool may be known by six things: anger without cause; speech without profit;
change without progress; inquiry without object; putting trust in a stranger; and
mistaking foes for friends.
29. Every fool finds a greater one to admire them.
30. Silence is the wit of fools.
31. The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
32. If you send a damned fool to St. Louis, and you don't tell them he's a damned fool, they'll never find out.
33. Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
34. Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society.
35. You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.
36. The mistakes of the fool are known to the world, but not to himself. The mistakes of the wise man are known to himself, but not to the world.
37. Only a fool knows everything. A wise man knows how little he knows.
38. Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
39. Foolproof systems to not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
40. Fools build houses, and wise men buy them.
41. Our wisdom comes from our experience, and our experience comes from our foolishness.
42. It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.
43. WARNING ! ! !
This is a VIRUS . . .
When you turn your phone off it WON'T WORK AGAIN
44. Hi,
Doing nothing?
Then Make a Place,
4 Me in ur Heart!!
I May come there any time!
Ur's Faithfully,
"HeArT aTtAcK"
45. I want U to know that U are very important to me, It's impossible for me to live without U even 4 a second! U r my life & I can feel U everywhere.... DON'T MIND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN...
46. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
Just a second, don't misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
47. You are equal to sixty james bond!
How??
007 * 60 = 420
48. U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS.
49. So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE.
50. For pepsi "shahrukh"
For coke "aamir"
For mirinda "vivek"
For fanta "rani"
& For Thums Up "Akshay"
Don't worry
For Bante wala soda "You"
Cheers !!!
51. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.
52. Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...
" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"
53. Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!
54. Roses are Red
Sky is Blue
My Bitch is Pregnant
Thanks to You....
55. Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.
56. When are you going to marry me? I can live without you. I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.
57. Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?
Open the zip!
Enter your hands in between your zip..
take out your...
book from your bag and study..
58. When ur life is in darkness pray 2 God ask him 2 free u 4rm darkness & after if u pray &ur still in darkness , pls pay ur
ELECTRICITY BILL
59. All ways keep your LOVER'S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...
60. The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......
Can I sell you?
61. True love is like an pillow, u can hug when you are in trouble, you can cry when you are in pain & u can embrace when you are happy. So when u need true love spend 100 bucks and buy a pillow.
62. Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.
Its on 1st of April. Surprised?
Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled.
63. If you are in tension,
If nothing seems right,
If u find no way out,
Then just think of me only once,
I will be always there to INCREASE your tensions.
64. When u feel lonly n alone & canot see any 1 around u,the wrld seems 2 b fading away,com along wit me I'l tak u to an eye specialist.
65. If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still cute. If u fwd this, u r spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
this, u r jealous of me coz i'm cute!
66. Last night I Got a severe Head pain...
I went to the Doctor ...
He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person...
" Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?"
67. If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.
68. Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.
69. Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB
(hint-
it should be 5)
Read caps word reversely.
70. The time since I have met u, i have realized that a friend like you is worth million dollars...
So, if u dont mind......
Can I sell you?
71. So Sweet is ur SMILE???
so Sweet is ur STYLE???
so Sweet is ur VOICE???
so Sweet is ur EYE?????
see .......how Sweetly I LIE.
72. I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel
you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream.
73. FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?
SON: Under Water, Dad.
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?
SON: They"Re Below C Level
74. All ways keep your LOVER"S photo in your purse.when ever you are in big trouble see the photo.you will feel that No other problem bigger than this...
75. U R the one who is CHARMING
U R the one who is INTELLIGENT
U R the one who is CUTE
and I am the One who is spreading these RUMOURS
76. Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tounge...
Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..
77. YOU R ROSE 4 all TREES
YOU R SMILE 4 all FACES
YOU R WATER FALLS 4 all HILLS
&
YOU R BROHTER 4 all GIRLS .
78. Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a permanent job.
79. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
80. What do you do when your mother-in-law is walking in the garden? ...... Shoot again.
81. When a store is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year, why is there a lock on the door ?
82. Why is a false eye made of glass?.....To look through.
83. When you are not supposed to drive a car when you have been drinking, why do bars have a parking lot ?
84. Why does beer contain female hormones ? ... When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.
85. How is an intelligent woman called? ....................... A transvestite
86. It has 50 teeth and it holds back or stops a terrible monster? ................... My fly!
87. Why are men like snails? ..... They have horns, they slobber and they trudge along, and above all, they think the house is theirs.
88. What happens when a man is in the water up till his navel ? ...... That is beyond his comprehension.
89. The ressemblance of a man and a cup of coffee? ..... They both get on the nerve.
90. If a pen is mightier than a sword and a photo more powerful than a thousand words, how dangerous –can a fax be ?
91. What happens when you got scared twice half-dead ?
92. When a schizophrenic threatens to commit suicide are we talking of hostageship?
93. What is the velocity of the darkness ?
94. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have a phone!
95. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
96. What is ressemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!
97. When swimming is good for the development of our arms and legs, why do fish not have arms and legs ?
98. How does the driver of a gritting vehicle go to work in the morning ?
99. Why do women have legs ? ...... Otherwise there will be traces of mucus on the kitchen floor.
100. The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?
I Like You SMS
Sweet Heart SMS
Dating SMS
Be Romantic SMS
Always Romantic
Be My Partner
I Love You SMS
Never Forget U
Kiss SMS
Valentine Day
Friendship SMS
Hello Friend
Be My Friend
Miss You SMS
Don't Forget Me
SMS Me
Friends Unlimited!
Only Friends
Friends Forever
Friendship Day
Funny SMS
Smile SMS
ASCII KeyBoard SMS
Abbreviatio SMS
Sweet SMS
Cute SMS
SMS Jokes
Hot SMS
Cool SMS
double meaning SMS
Be Happy SMS
Greetings SMS
Good Luck SMS
Get Well Soon SMS
Best Wishes SMS
Good Morning SMS
Nice Day SMS
Good Night SMS
Bless SMS
Always Happy SMS
Adult SMS
Miss Lead SMS
Angry SMS
Rude SMS
Naughty SMS
Fool & Foolish
Dirty SMS
Flirt SMS
Insult SMS
Apology SMS
Anniversary SMS
Happy New Year
May Day SMS
Eid ul Fitre SMS
Independence Day
Diwali & Holi
Halloween SMS
Puja & Rakhi
Christmas SMS
Thanksgiving Day
Weeding SMS
Marriage Day
Husband SMS
Wife SMS
Life Partner
Father SMS
Mother SMS
Brother SMS
Sister SMS
Happy Birth Day
Advice SMS
Human Right
Quote SMS
Wise SMS
Thoughts of the Day
Inspirational
Want Freedom
Love Quote
Global Peace
Success SMS
Political SMS
Poetry SMS
Tricky SMS
Dream SMS
Thinking about U
Santa Banta SMS
Sarder SMS
Puzzle SMS
Thank You
Computer SMS
Slip of the Tongue
Sad SMS
Tongue Twister
Daring SMS
Sympathy
Funny Comment
Exam SMS
Selfish SMS
Fear Winner
Romantic Idea
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Dirty SMS Collection
1. Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you prat i live in a
flat so how the damn do i know.
2. Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now
they have a son.
3. Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned
it into nylon
4. Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed & den it
spat- It sure aint u.u ungly prat!
5. I was nervous at first, it was big & long &went straight up, Ihad to try it... i eased myself
onto it & i liked it! i went up & down on it, i love escalators now
6. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue
feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………..NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!
7. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.
8. Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But
1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
9. I had a wet dream about you last night .... I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!
10. It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed
just you and me...its not what you think its a cup of tea!
11. Last nite i wantd u.needed u so badly dat it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could
work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u.u stupid.. PARACETAMOL!
12. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow
quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?
13. Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in
slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam
14. Last nite i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel
u all over my body.. but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?
15. I luv the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust
in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
16. come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied
lovingly urs TOILET!!!!
17. Wen i look at the sun i c u!wen i look at the moon i c u!wen i look at the sea I c u...
well get out of my way!
18. At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
19. Viagra now available in powder to put in tea, does nothing for erections but stops your biscuit from going soft.
20. If necessity is the mother of invention, then Frustration is the father of masturbation!
21. While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.
22. Importance of UNITY explained at it's best:
One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are Fucked.
23. What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!
24. Boss to a lady during interview: What's the difference between Paperclip and Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I have never been paperclipped.
25. What is the definition of a healthy virgin?
One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !
26. Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.
27. Two prostitutes were talking,
1st: We r in the best business in the world.
2nd: How?
1st: We have it, sell it, and we still have it.
28. Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
29. Great door signs:
Gynecologist: Dr Jones at your cervix.
Septic tank truck: Yesterday's meals on wheels.
Plumber's office: Wwe repair what ur husband fixed.
Tire shop: Invite us to ur next blowout.
Electrical shop: Let us remove ur shorts.
Maternity room: Push, Push, Push.
30. Similarity between a dick & matchstick?
Both have heads without brains, both flare up at slightiest friction, both fizzle out after showing valour for 2secs !!!
31. In life, never look down on anybody, unless u r getting a lovely view of the cleavage!
32. Why is a woman's pubic hair curly?
So that it won't poke a man in the eye!
33. Why is sex similar to shaving?
Well, because no matter how well u do it today, tomorrow u hav to do it again.
34. A just born baby was laughing hard with its tiny fingers closed. The confused Pediatrician unfolded his tiny fingers & found... A Birth Control pill !
35. Why can't anybody satisfy a Woman Completely?
Because nobody has a Dick made of Gold, Decorated with Diamonds & which Ejaculates Cash!
36. Life is all about Ass; We are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one!
37. 70 ways to make a woman happy: No. 1 is shopping & the rest is '69'.
38. Response during sex:
Mistress: Wow ! Darling this is great.
Whore: Come on finish it now.
Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly.
Wife: Ceiling needs painting !
39. Height of being Realistic: An actress being fucked by a producer widout using a condom saying that she has 2 play the role of a Pregnant lady in his next film!
40. Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When a boy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....
41. Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about Trusting Respecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips saying Push it more.
42. Sex is evil
Evil is sin
Sin is forgiven
So let's begin.
43. Knowledge is like ur underwear... U should have it, but not show it off & most important, while having sex, keep ur knowledge aside!
44. If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.
45. Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...
46. Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.
47. Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.
48. Why did Shahid and Kareena break up?
Because she wanted to have Saif Sex !
49. First Doc: I had sex with my patient. I'm feeling guilty
Second Doc: It happens in our profession. Take it easy yaar.
First Doc: Yeah, but I'm a Veterinary doctor.
50. A old woman calls the Police department and says: I have a Sex Maniac in my apartment. Pick him up in the morning!
51. A man is a king. A king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches.
Are you a man?"
52. Monica Lewinsky turned 31. How time flies! It seems like yesteraday when she was crawling around the White House on her hands n knees puttin everything in her mouth!
53. Give an example of Complete business failure due to negligence.
A pregnant prostitute.
54. Twenty-Five Uuseless things in a Man's body: 20 Nails you can't Hammer, 2 Tits you can't Milk, 1 Cock that doesn't Crow, and 2 Balls you can't Throw !!
55. What's the similarity between women & folding chair?
Both are useless unless until u don't open their legs.
56. Stock broker catches wife in bed with other man: What's going on?
Wife: Due to boom in market & ur less investment capacity, honey I've gone for PUBLIC ISSUE!
57. A Survey Report:
Women who sleep on their sides are Sensitive.
Who sleep on their stomach are Competent.
Who sleep on their back with Legs in the air are MOST POPULAR!
58. Lady: Dr.! How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?
Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!
59. Sex n shopping have one thing in common: In both the cases, men start sweating in 15 minutes n women want to go on and on and on and on!
60. Just remember: No matter how hot & sexy a babe is, someone somewhere is tired of fuckin her!
61. Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.
Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never fucked ur mom.
Girl: True, but my father did !
62. What's a contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a woman can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy. Now dont ask wats the first thing!
63. Teacher: What do u know about Sensex?
Pappu When we have sex with Riya Sen, Raima Sen, Rimi Sen, Konkana Sen & Sushmita Sen etc. it's called Sen Sex!
64. During war, enemy soldier sees 3 nuns. He says I want revenge & remoevd his pants. Young nun requested Plz spare older Nun.
Older nun: Shut up u Bitch, War is War.
65. Jack: It's just too hot to wear clothes today, but what would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn naked?
Wife: That I married u for ur money.
66. How do you define a virgin?
On the Verge but not in!
67. Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose. One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn?t taste sweet?
68. Sex is like your Income... You never disclose what you get, but you always think others are getting more.
69. What is virginity?
Virginity is a big issue over a small tissue.
70. What has fifty teeth & guards a monster?
Your Pant Zip !
71. Why is Pool called a fool's game?
Coz u hold the stick & put the ball in the hole, instead of holding balls & putting the stick in the hole!
72. What is the definition of a Lesbian?
Yet another Damm Woman trying to do a Man's job!!
73. Last night at a party, someone yelled: Married guys, stand next to the person who's made your life worth living! The bartender was almost crushed!
74. A couple, recently married, were unhappy with the whole thing... He was unhappy with the hole and She was unhappy with the thing!
75. Tell me the name of the guy who made u pregnant?
Darling: Dear, if u eat fifteen bananas, can u tell which one made u fat.
76. He asked: How do you feel about SEX.
She said: Well I like it Infrequently.
HE asked: Is that One word or Two?
77. Dear Sexscriber, Ur SEX Balance is Low, Ur Account Will be Put into Virginity Mode. Pls Refuck as Soon as Possible to Keep Ur Account ACTIVE. Condoms Apply...
78. Two Gays got into a heated argument. Whilst arguing, 1 of them shouted: Kiss My Ass!
The other replied: This is not the time 2 b romantic.
79. AIDS Awareness: Try different positions with the same woman instead of the same position with different women. Plz pass it on to all careless fuckers. I just did.
80. Condoms are not 100% safe. The other day my friend was wearing one and he got hit by a bus!
81. Accident takes a minute but sufferings last a lifetime. Plz wear Condom & Helmet on ur appropriate heads during Respective Driving.
82. Ancient Chinese wisdom for men: Always marry a woman with small hands. Makes u'r cock look bigger!
83. Q: What did the sign s on the door the door of the Whorehouse say?
84. Ganguly to his wife during sex- PITCH is dry, Grass not cut, Slow outfield.
Wife (Dona) replies- Nonsense!!! Inzamaam scored century on the same PITCH!!!!
85. Students of 5th class asked teacher:
can we have kids?”
Teacher replied ”Never”
Boy said to girl :
I told you not to worry
86. Maths teacher: If you have
twevel chocolates
and u give
five to meena,
three to teena and
four to nina
then what will you get?
Student: three new girlfriends.
87. Miss: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?Student: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
88. A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
89. What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
90. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get.
91. A boy asked his mom where do babies come from and the mom said the stork, then the boy said who has s*x with the stork?
92.A train is bout 2 crash! A frantic virgin strips off & says can any1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die? So a man takes off his clothes & says iron these!
93. fucking girls yes papa
using condoms no papa
getting AIDS ha ha haaaa.
94. Prof teaching muscle movement, asks a lady: Do you know what your asshol_e does when you have an orgasm?
Lady: Sure, he's at the office, working!
95. What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!
96. A kiss is called humanity if its on cheek, love if on lips, passion if on breast, humor if on navel, sex if on vagina and called bravery if its on ass hole.
97. Old chinese proverb says: "Man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok."
98. Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex .
Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?
Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 Years.
99. A frustrated father's defensive reply in a sms msg to his offensive unruly son... I should have wasted u in the bathroom!
100. A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack: No smoking, no drinking & hv sex only with ur wife because it is important that you avoid excitement.
Flirt SMS
1. the best quality i like in u is that ..............u r very sentimental
1% senti
99% mental...............
2. SORRY.... SORRY.... SORRY.....SORRY....Dont get confused ,Actually SORRY means: S-Some,O-One Is,R-Really,R-Rememberinhg Y-You.....Have A wonderful day..
3. I am a dog and u r a flower,
so let me lift my leg n give u a shower!
4.
u r a donkey
d 4 decent
o 4 outclass
n 4 nice
k 4 kind
e 4 excelent
y 4 young
5. Those Sparkling Eyes
That Amazing Face
A 100watt smile
The Enthu Stride
The Cheerful Talk
Charming stud
I'm still The same
hw r u?...wts up?
5. if i need "Brain Transplantation" i will perfer your brain...
dont think that you are a genious.......... i need a brain which is never used before
6. Let the most beautiful dream come to u tonight,Let the sweetest person come in ur dream tonight.... But dont make it a habit bcoz I m not free every night..
7. i belive u so much. i trusted u so much. but u told my secret to every one. why did u told every one that i am so beautiful.
8. Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
Reply me soon
urs lovingly,
"MOSQUITO"
9. just go to hell
yes you
u only !
because only you can change hell into heaven by your sweetness.
10. I want to kill the
SWEETEST,
SMARTEST,
CHARMING,
ATTRACTIVE &
GOOD LOOKING Person on earth,
but then I thought my friend ....
SUCIDE is a crime.
11.Warning, cell phones cause radiations which results in brain damage, but u r safe, it only affects people with brain. How lucky u r, no brain, no tension
12. If u want SUCCESS in life; be Sweet as Honey,be Regular as Clock,be Fresh as Rose,be Soft as Tissue, be Strong as Rock,be Sure as Death,and....be Smart as ME.qwq
13. Life is like a MOVIE...
If u r sad - DRAMA
If u r afraid - SUSPENSE
If u r angry - ACTION
When u Luk at the mirror - HORROR
Now u r smilling - that's COMEDY
14. How 2 grow up a baby 2 make it absolutly charming,
smart, good looking, cute, funny, truthful & an
extremly intelligent kid ???
Ask my parents...!
15. Whn cloud breaks, rain falls! Whn coconut breaks, water falls!Whn luv breaks tears falls!But whn ur head break Cowdung falls !
16. Q: to make it straight she pulls it, to make it stand she rubs it, to make it stiff she licks it, to let it in she pushes it. what is she doing? a: threading a needle
17. Good person? thats you Good mate? Its you again Good taste? Corse its you Good friend? Its also you Good looking nah get lost thats me .
18. GARAHAMBEL
invnted
telefon
EDISON
invnted
elctricbulb
MARCONI
invnted
radio
COLUMBOS
discoverd
America
U discovered my Cell NO
19. Your smile is amazing... you know your smile kills the people.... So please save the world.......
and
Brush your teeth....
regularly!....
20. I'd climd the highest mountain.I'd swim the ocean blue I'd do anything at all my dear- Just to get away from you.zed
21. six rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND
bilal
22. My Eyes
DETECTED
My Heart
REACTED
Thousands were
REJECTED
& only u were
SELECTED
bcoz i need a monkey 4 an advertisment
23. You've got Sex Appeal... You've got Style... You've got Intelligence... You've got Class... You've got D Face... & You've got D Body... & I've got the wrong number! Sorry!
24.
(((((( ))))))
(((( @) (@ ))))
(((((; <._.> ;)))))
((((((,__ ,))))))
25. don't be afriad......
Sometimes mob work as mirror
26. PRACTICE AT UR HOME
1.Take one grape
2.Take it in ur hand
3.Put it in btvn ur fore teeth
4.Approach the mirror slowly & see.
27. SHUTUP!
S= SURPRISES 4 U
H= HAPPINESS 4 U
U= UNLIMITED LOVE 4 U
T= TRUE PASSION 4 U
U= U ALWAYZ INMY MIND
P= PRAYING 4 U
SO AGAIN
SHUTUP!!
28. VACANCY ANNOUNCEMENT:
r u handsome ?
r u good looking ?
r u trained ?
r u hardworking ?
looking for a job ?
then.................
apply now;
we need the services of a ~MONKEY~ for the zoo.
29. Hey,
I, Dont Need Ur Attitude
BCoz
I, Have One Of My Own
30. In the late night,on the full moon day, i
stopped my car and went close to her ears, she felt
shyness.i went to say those words but i
thought she wont believe it. Finally i told
her those "3 words"
31. Yesterday whole night i
was thinkin abt only U
Now i'm
thinking of "V".
Tonight i'll definitly
think abt w,x,y and z
32. close ur eyes
umm.haa
muhaa...
ok..
satisfied now open ur eyes..
;****;
x( @..@ )x
"(--)" MAZA AYA ? U kissed a Monkey
33. Red Rose: Luv
Yelloe Rose: Friendship
White Rose: Peace
Which Rose for u?
34. EYES: to look at u.
HAND: to pray for u.
MIND: to remember u.
HEART: to make friendship with u.
and
LEG: to kick u if u forget me....
So alkways remeber me!!!
35. good morning.......
have u done 2 of thae most important things when u woke up today????
1) pray , so that u may live long
2) take a bath so that other can live long.....
36. no visits..........
no calls...........
no missed calls........
no sms's............
no mails...............
no chat............
i m worried..........u r in jail again???
37. Hi sweetheart,
Doing nothing?
Then make aplace 4 me in ur Heart!
I may come there any time!
Ur's faithfully
"HEART ATTACK!"
38. Kindly observe SILENCE for two minutes in the memory of those poor mosquitoes who died last night after
sucking ur blood
39.
1-5 years girls
love MOM
6-15 years girls
love DAD
16-30 years girls love ME 30-60 years they love HUSBAND
61-100 years they love..
40. After engagement : Superman
After Marriage : Gentleman
After 10 years : Watchman
After 20 years : Doberman
41.
Found!
Loading....
|||
10%
||||||
30%
|||||||||||||||
100%
Done!
You Are
SUCCESSFULLY
LOADED IN MY HEART..
42. i saw sumthing in da shop window today. it was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable. i was supposed to buy it for u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION
43. Someone told me dat u r no. 1 flirt. Is dat true
F- FRIENDLY
L- LOVELYFUL
I - INTELLIGENT
R - ROMANTIC
T - TRUTHFUL
SO KEEP ON FLIRTING
44. say e
say ee
say eee
say eeee
say eeeee
say eeeeee
very good
now go & brush ur teeth.. gud day
45. God made butter, god made cheese; god made you for me to squeeze.
God made whiskey, god made Pepsi and when he made you he made you SEXY!
46. so sweet u r
so sweet your smile
so sweet your eyes
so sweet your style
see how sweetly i lie
47. I love the way it rubs aganst the soft pink flesh creating creamy fomy liquid, as it trust in and out up & down, cant wait till nxt time my toothBrush
48. I ask god a Flower ,he give me agarden. i ask a tree, he give me a Forest. iask a lake , he gave me An ocean, I ask a Angel, he gave me U
49. R u Male or Female ???
Wants to know the answer...
Then see down . . . .
Not here u fooooooool...
50. Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be one heart that would always beat for you You know Whose??? your Own Stupid!!!
51. Those innocent eyes, those kissable lips, a great smile the perfect walk, smoothest talk, absolute gorgeous, thts enough bout me... how r u ?
52. There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha dan, Person readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry = ben dan
53. Each morning..............
My first thought
My first sight
My first feeling
My first contact
my first heartthrob
My first real joy
my first true love
54. ????? is ???????
still scrolling?
o'k i'll tell u
u sure u want 2
55. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room"
And the grand prize is a night with me!
56. Flowers die
stories end
Songs fade
Memories Ragotten
All things come to End
But..........
People like U always remain 4rever
Bcz
GHOST NEVER DIE
57. I'm tired of da security guard interogatin me abt da monkey dat escaped from da zoo. I think u better hide!
58. hey i saw u in TV... how smart u r ... how sweet u r ... how lovely u r ... but i dont know y u r comilg only in animal planet chanel...
59. you"
yes you
u really disspointed me
i trusted u so much but UR big mouth is never SHUT
why don't u stop telling others my secret?
that
I M CUTE !!
60. Those Sparkling Eyes
That Amazing Face
A 100watt smile
The Enthu Stride
The Cheerful Talk
Charming stud
I'm still The same
hw r u?...wts up?
61. QUESTION:
What's pink and hard when it goes in... and soft and wet when it comes out?
ANSWER:
Bubblegum
62. If we join one pipal with other pipal with the help of a wire.what will we call it ?
Guess
63. Puppy dog asked to mummy dog: Mummy who is my Father.Mummy: Baby, keep silence, don't disturb your Father, he is reading this SMS now.
64.
A - U r Attractive
B - U r the Best
C - U r Cute
D - U r Dear 2 Me
E - U r Excellent
F - U r Funny
G - U r Good-Looking
H - hehehe
I - I'm
J - JOKING
65. I Want You To Be with Me
In a Nice Restaurant
To Have Candle Light Dinner...&
Say Those Sweet
Three Words To U...
"Pay The Bill
66. THE QUESTIOS:
How many Times Did u Press The Button
67. MY EYES MISS U
MY FELLINGS LOVE U
MY HANDS NEED U
MY MIND CALL U
MY HEART JUST 4 U
MY LIFE IS U
I WILL DIE WITHOUT U
I LOVE U
68. Good looks catch the eyes,
but Good Personality catches the heart.
You are blessed with both!
FLATTERED???
Don't Be!!! It was sent to ME, and I just wanted you to read it...
69. Open My Heart
Get Inside
If You Found SomeElse Inside My Heart
Just Say Hi And Sit Down With Him Squall
70. Earth may stop Rotating,
Birds may stop Flying,
Candles may stop Melting,
Fishes may stop Swimming,
Heart may stop Beating,
But your Brain will
never start working!
71. Sorry 4 disturbing u.
can u fax me ur photo,
its very urgent,
serious matter has
comeup actually,
we r playing cards
and I lost the joker
72.
1 msg received...
1 cool person sent it...
1 fool is reading it...
1 fool gets mad...
1 fool is still reading it...
1 fool will forward this message to another fool!!
73. I Love "u" , I Love "u" , I Love "u" , I Love "u", I Love "u",
Hey ! Dont get excited I love other alphabet too...... v,w,x,y,z!!!
74. Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1's receive
MESSAGES From ME! Shafqat
75. I want to kiss ur lips
I want to smell ur breath
I want to touch ur tunk
I want to touch ur teeth
But u dun worry
I m ur friend dentonic!!
76. baby u are the bomb surely your father iz da terrorist,your smile destroys mi surely your mom iz da tsunami!!!!!!!!
77. so sweet is ur smile,so sweet r ur eyes,so sweet is ur voice................see how sweet r my lies
78. Police is looking for someone described as gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny &amazing peoson, Ur safe. But where the HELL am I gonna HIDE
79. some call me funny,some one call me sunny ,someone call me honey what about u dont plz dont call me with any name coz ur already buxbuney!!!! now shut up !!!!!!!!!!
80. U r so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh damn im sorry i have the wrong number mk
81. Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT
82. I need you... I love you... I can't go anywhere without you... Oh my lovely... SHOES !
83. in day i miss u
at night i miss u
in morning i miss u
i miss u every moment
i miss u every second
i miss u alot.......
my stolen chappal i really miss u
84. R u mad?
Y r u reading me?
There is nothing in me.
Just stop it, u r wasting ur time.
I think u will never stop reading me.
OK
Read me now
85. Press down
again
again.. please
once more
sorry again
6 times more
Oh! Again
1 Time again
don't u have any job
86. Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.
87. It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS
88. U know last week,I visited my friend in China & they thought I'm joking when I say in South Africa there are Monkey's,so will tou plz borrow me ur photographs so that I can show them when I visit again?
89. God knows d value of HEART,so he created LUV....He knows d value of NIGHT,so he created DREAMS...He knows d value of FREINDS,so he created MEEEEE...
90. want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream
91. Winter comes again n again, Summer comes again n again, But the person like you will not come again, Because GOD never makes the same mistake again n again...
92. Think well,
Plan well,
Do well,
Sleep well,
Play well,
Laugh well and
Put ur mobile also into well, Bcoz ur not Messaging me Well
93. Birds love you,
Monkeys love you,
Hippos love you,
Snakes love you,
Tortoise love you,
Giraffe loves you.....
Please go back to ZOO,
They all really miss you.
94. Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.
95. Having a good laugh with a friend like you stimulates endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers. So, if you need to laugh and you can’t find a friend like yourself, I can lend you my mirror.
96. A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)
97. It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt...
98. Always be Happy, always wear a smile;
Not because life is full of reasons to smile but because ur smile itself is a reason for many others to smile...
99. One who somes, has a SMOKY heart,
One who drinks, has an ALCOHOLIC heart...
So dear U must STOP eating SWEETS...
as u r already a SWEETEHART!**
100. Loading the Babe meter.....
5%
17%
26%
57%
78%
99%
100% COMPLETE
Processing data..
ANALYSIS COMPLETE
U R A 100%
Gorgeous Babe
Insult SMS Collection
1. You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
2. Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants
3. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
4. Why don't you freeze your teeth and give your tongue a sleigh ride?
5. Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.
6. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
7. He's so full of shit, his eyes are brown
8. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
9. He dips Sparrows in Peroxide and sells them as Canaries.
10. His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
11. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
12. People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them
13. He campaigned to have the only Bar in his town closed. When it did, he moved away.
14. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
15. You get plenty of exercise jumping to conclusions, pushing you luck, beating around the bush, and dodging the issue.
16. As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut. Take advantage of all of them.
17. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not...
18. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife, Marrying you really messed up my life...
19. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lightin
20. Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
21. Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
22. Are you typing with your forehead, again?
23. Cigarette, A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.
24. Well, they do say opposites attact...so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.
25. I heard that you changed your mind. So, what did you do with the diaper?
26. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
27. I heard that you were a Ladykiller. They take one look at you and die of shock.
28. I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
29. Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own
30. He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words
31. I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works
32. Your face would not only stop a door, but also most clocks and a herd of charging buffalo
33. Your face is such a mess, when you practice diving why don't you make sure the pool has water in next time.
34. Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission...
35. Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
36. I've seen more life in a down and out's vest
37. Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.
38. You're about as much use as a Betamax videorecorder
39. I'd love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can't count that high
40. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
41. I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'
42. This sms can only be read by someone SEXY
try again
again
maybe you are
just not sexy?
one more time
hey don't force it ugly!!!
43. Look who's talking - I bet when you go to the zoo you have to buy two tickets: one to get in and another to get out.
44. Well, you're living proof that even a turd can be polished.
45. People like him don't just grow on trees - they swing from them
46. We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.
47. You're about as challenging as stealing candy from a bi-polar baby in a bell-jar.
48. I've been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain, can u plz cum down the police station and show them it's a mistake?
49. Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo, dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha!
50. I saw U on the road that day U Were Looking so fine Ur Face So Divine Ur Walk So Perfect My Heart Started to Sing a Sweet Song??????. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT
51. Today, tommorow and yesterday there will be one heart that would always beat for you You know Whose??? your Own Stupid!!!
52. TWO FACTS OF LIFE FACT 1 : U cannot touch ur lower lip with ur tongue. FACT 2 : After reading this, 99/100 idiots like u would try it.!!
53. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
54. Hey! Can you do me a favour, take a pic of urself and send it to me. I'm Playing cards and i'm mising the JOKER!!!
55. I saw u on a road, U look so beautiful, u walk as a divine. when i see u a sweet song blowed in my heart WHO LETS THE DOG OUT.
56. I'm at police station. The police caught me & filed a case against me of "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" . i'm DOOMED, Need some ugly Monkey 2 bail me out , Where r u?
57. I like watching you, I like to spend my time with you. But you are always surrounded by others as you are the main attaraction of the ZOO!!!
58. Qualities a friend must have: Cute as crocodile. Smart as donkey. Active as turtle. Fit as hippo. Matured as monkey. Sincerity like dog. No doubt you are my good friend
59. What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
60. 1 day u'll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME...
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.
61. A child monkey asks his mother, "mom, y r we so ugly??" mother replies... " no son, don't say like tht, u should thank God, look at this person reading this message" hahahaha :)
62. Do u know that ur smile takes 1000's of people to death? save the world.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So plz start brushing regularly.
63. A) ur attractive
B) u r buff
C) u r clever
D) u r dashing
E) u r excitin
f) u r funny
g) u r gorgeous
h0 how was that
i) i was
J) just
)k) kidding
l) u r loser
m)man
64. Modern
Obedient
Neatful
Kindful
Excellent
Young
Hey!Thats me.
Dont b sad even ur name is also there,read D 1st LETTER of every word.
65. Diffrence between fate n stupidity: If ur father is poor,then its ur fate,if ur father-in-law is poor,its ur stupidity..!!
66. it iz psycologically proved that all the fools & stupids, donkeys,monkeys,use thier thumb to read messages. dont change your finger now its to late !
67. I'm proud that ur my frnd coz ur
20% Perfect,
20% Attractive,
20% Great,
20% Amazing,
20% Lovable,
in short ur 100% P.A.G.A.L.!!
68. Sometimes my mind asks me..
Why I like U?
Why I wnt 2 c U?
Why I Rem'ber U?
Why U make me laugh?
THEN my HEART answers....
Its simply coz
I LOVE CARTOONS.
69. Flowers dies
Stories ends
Songs fades
Memories r forgotton
All things comes 2 end
But people like u always remain 4ever
Bcz GHOSTS NEVER DIE!
70. Even if we lose contact..
Or even mèét less..
Or even SMS less..
i"ll still remember ur beautiful face!
,****,
( @...@ )
"(--)"
71. What is the similar between "Baygon-spray" & "Body-spray"? If you Use Baygon spray you will die & If you Don't use Body spray others will
72. Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
73. Last night few BHOOTS came running to my room saying we want to disturb nice people, i gave them ur address,they said,Oh No!we can't disturb our BOSS
74.
RECIPE:
1. Take a bowl of grapes.
2. Put your hand in it.
3. Stand in front of mirror.
The dish is ready.
RECIPE NAME:
Grpes Soup!!!!!
75. Birds love you, monkeys love you, hippos love you,
snakes love you, tortoise love you, giraffe loves you.....
Please go back to ZOO, they all really miss U!
76. Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£
Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:
A.Cunt
B.Wanker
C.Rsole
D.Twat
77. today i want to see a lizard....... so that plzzz have a date wid me today hope u will come.
78. Eighty-Five Years virgin dying lady wanted her grave to read"Born Virgin Lived Virgin Died Virgin".The sculptor shortened it to"PARCEL RETURNED UNOPENED"
79. I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
80. Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!
81. Press Down if u think u r MAD.
I can't Believe u Did That!
Again?
For God Sake! LORD!!
Why u Still Doing it?
Truth is out now!
MENTAL CASE!!
82. Cow Elephant Donkey.
-Discussing who is greatest?
Cow.I giv 50 ltres milk a day.
Elephant.I eat 100 bundle's of sugar cane a day.
83. If i need brain transplantation i wil prefer ur brain......... dont think u r genious. I just wanted a brain which is never used before ! !
84. You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.
85. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
86. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
87. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
88. There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.
89. If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
90. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.
91. What's the simularity of math and sex? add the beds, minus the clothes, devide the leggs and multiply.
92. Death is the greatest kick of all.That's why they save it for last!
93. Bedroom golf can make u grin,u need a stick 2 help u win.Keep ur clubs in good condition+neva play wivout permission.Practice often its lotsa fun+try2get a hole in1
94. What's that ugly thing on your neck? OOOH Its your face!
95. HOW DO U KEEP A BLONDE WOMEN BUSY ALL DAY? PUT HER IN A CIRCLE ROOM AT TELL HER TO GO AND SIT IN THE CORNER!
96. We are pleased to tell you your results Your IQ test came back Its Negative!!
97. im ur secret admirer u touch me in all the right places u always no how to turn me on ur lookin at me rite now smilin,who am i? im ur phone u fool
98. How Do U Keep An Idiot Entertained? Press Down Press Up......................
99. yes,god made u first,but there is always a rough draft before the final copy
100. Psst! Cutie yes YOU! Ur smiling again Its coz i told u dat ur CUTE hey Sometimes we need 2 lie Just to make some one SMILE!
Apology SMS Collection
1. SORRY… SORRY… SORRY…SORRY…
Don’t get confused ,Arey Baba SORRY means:
S-Some,
O-One Is,
R-Really,
R-Remembering
Y-You…..
Have A wonderful day….
2. I’m sorry to be smiling every time you’re near.
I’m sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you’re here.
I’m sorry that cupid has made his hit.
I’m sorry i love you,
I can’t help it.
3. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.
4. I hurt you…
But I didn’t mean to…
Please forgive me!
5. I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words!
Hope you’ll forgive me!
6. I know I’ve hurt you…
I didn’t mean to.
I am soooooooooo sorry…
Please forgive me!
7. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!
8. Wish I could turn back the time
and make things right…
Please forgive me!
9. im sorry baby,, i believe u'll run & come to me & i'll open my hand @ hug u i'll wait for u till end of my life
10. If You Ask Me How Many Times
My Heart Has Been Broken,
Then I Ask You To Look Up
At The Sky One Night,
And Count The Stars.
11. 4give You Again ???
For All The Times You Made Me Cry??
For All The Things You Said About Me?
For All The Crap You Started?
For Stabing Me In The Back??
No I Wont 4give You ,
Not This Time
12. G O O D B Y E
Is
Easier
Then
Admitting
I
Was
W r o n g.
13. Forgive Sounds Good
Forget Im Not Sure I Could
They Say Time Heals Everything
But Im Still Waiting
14. Sorry May Have Become
"Just Another Word",
But With
T E A R S
It Means The World.
15.
I
Can
Forgive
You
For
Hurting
Me,
But I Can
Never
Forget!!
16. Refusing To Forgive Someone
Is Like Drinking Poison,
And Waiting For
The Other Person To Die.
17. "You Should Forgive Me,
And Do You Know Why?
Because I Can't Stand The Thought
Of You Hurting Because
Of Someone Like Me,
And The Only Way You'll Ever Stop Being Hurt
By Me,
Is If You Stop Hating Me
So You Can Just Forget That
I Ever Even Existed."
18. Dont You Hate It
When They Do Something Hurtful
And Then They Say Sorry
And Expect
Everything Will Be Ok
19. Why Do I Always Forgive You?
I Let You Call Me So Many Names,
I Let You Treat Me Like Dirt,
Yet I'm Still Your Friend.
Am I Stupid?
Or Am I A
Good Friend?
20. What's done is done
Make room for the new
Forgive and forget
What has been done to you.
21. It takes a second to make a mistake,
but a lifetime to
try and forget it
was your fault.
22. If you aren't willing to forgive someone,
then you don't truly love them.
23. Forgiveness is a sign that the
person who has wronged
you means more to you
than the wrong they have dealt.
24. I forgave your broken promises,
I forgave you from the start.
But one thing I won't forgive,
Is your breaking of my heart.
25. I don't forgive people cause I'm weak
I forgive them cause I'm strong enough
to understand people make mistakes.
26. Always forgive your
E N E M I E S
Nothing
A N N O Y S
them so much.
27. Understand that no matter
how many times you say
you're sorry
it wont wash away all the pain
and hurt you caused
and the tears you made me cry.
28. It takes a strong person
to say sorry.
And an ever stronger
person to forgive.
29. I have learned that sometimes
"S O R R Y"
is not enough.
Sometimes you actually have to change.
30. You said you never
wanted to see
me hurt.
Did you close your
eyes then
when I cried?
31. The Weak Can Never Forgive.
F o r g i v e n e s s
Is The Attribute
Of The
S t r o n g.
32. The stupid neither forgive nor forget;
the naïve forgive and forget;
the wise forgive but do not forget.
33. I feel sorry for the man who marries you...
because everyone
thinks you're
sweet and you're not.
34. I felt ashamed for what I had done.
I don't have any excuses.
I did what I did.
I take full responsibility for myself and my actions.
I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody.
I'm sorry it happened.
And I hurt people.
35. Forgiveness
is the
sweetest
R E V E N G E
36. I Know How Angry You Are ...
&
What You Must Be Going Through
So i Hope , You Know
How Sorry I Am For All
That Happens Between Us ...
Please Forgive Me
37. I Don't Know Quite
How To Make Things Better Between Us
I Can Start By Saying
I'm Sorry
I Really Am ...
38. SORRY ... !!!
Say
Onetime 2 any1
Really
Remembering
You ...
39. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.
40. SORRY
S
O
R
R
Y
S
O
R
R
Y
SORRY
Dont get confused, arey baba 'SORRY' means
S - SOME
O - ONE'S
R - REALLY,
R - REMEMBERING
Y - YOU.
41. I"m sorry to be smiling every time you"re near. I"m sorry my eyes twinkle whenever you"re here. I"m sorry that cupid has made his hit. I"m sorry I love you, I can"t help it.
42. anytime you are angry that breaks my heart
but my heart will never stop to love you............
sorry for that
43. SORRY.... SORRY.... SORRY.....SORRY....
Dont get confused ,Arey Baba SORRY means:
S-Some,
O-One
Is,R-Really,
R-Rememberinhg
Y-You.....Have A wonderful day....
44. In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.
45. An apology is a good way to have the last word.
46. A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.
47. An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.
48. Apologizing - a very desperate habit - one that is rarely cured. Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
49. It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
50. True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.
51. It's easier to apologize than ask for permission.
52. Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.
53. The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.
54. The only good thing about punctuality is that it usually gets you an apology.
55. Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift.
56. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!
57. Thought 4 the day
I cried when I had no shoes. Suddenly I stopped crying when i saw a man without leg.
Life is full of Blessings sometime we don't understand it.
GUD MORNING
58. What will this day hold
As i blindly venture in
Itll only hold what i allow
So with positive thoughts lets begin
Good Morning!
59. U should be either in a part ...
U should be either in a part of problem or
U should be either in a part of solution
So start u r day in ur own style..
Good Morning
60. Eyes are not meant for tears and heart is not meant for fear,
Never get upset but always cheer
Bcoz you are the one who can make people smile for years.
Good morning
61. Of all the friends
i’ve ever met
you’re the one
I won’t forget
if I die before you do
I’ll go to Heaven & wait for you.
God alone knows
when I depart,
so I’m letting you know
you’re Special in my Heart.
62. I am sorry for blaming you..
For everything I just couldnt do,
And I have hurt myself by hurting you,
There is nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again,
Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there!
I am really sorry
63. Remember the good times we had spent together?
And the beautiful future we had dreamy of..
Darling I never wanted to create a distance between us,
Please let us bridge the gaps..
64. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,
But know my love will always last,
Even though we are a distance apart,
You always have the key to my heart.
65. In friendship,
words can go unspoken,
yet be understood.
That’s why I am sure
that though I don’t say it often,
you know how much i value you.
Take care
66. As I feel the tear
go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes,
they rot in the past,
But I know my love
will always last,
Even though we are
a distance apart,
You will always
have the key to my heart.
67. I'm sorry for blaming you...
For everything I just couldn't do…
And I've hurt myself by hurting you…
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again…
Sometimes, I want to call you, but I know you won't be there…
It's hard to say goodbye when i
68. Remember the good times we had spent together, and the beautiful future we had dreamy of...
Darling I never wanted to create a distance between us...
Please let us bridge the gaps...
69. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego.
70. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego.
71. Apology is a lovely perfume;it can turn d clumsiest moment in2 a gracious gift!
72. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,
73. Appologising doesn't mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego...!!!
74. Apology is a lovely perfume,
It can transform the clumsiest
moment into a gracious gift.
Please forgive me!
75. I have committed a sin to make u sad
And am realising that I'm very bad
So plz forgive me to lessen the grief
Your forgiveness will led to a relief
I'm sorry
76. Remember d good times we spent together
D beautiful future we dreamt of
I never wanted to create a distance between us
Please forgive me n help me bridge d gap
77. I hurt you…
But I didn’t mean to…
Please forgive me!
78. I’m so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words!
Hope you’ll forgive me!
79. I know I’ve hurt you…
I didn’t mean to.
I am soooooooooo sorry…
Please forgive me!
80. I’m sorry.
I’m really, really, really Sorry!
Please forgive me!
81. Wish I could turn back the time
and make things right…
Please forgive me!
82. As I feel the tear go down my cheek,
I notice that my heart is weak,
For the love I have for you,
Will always be gold and true,
I have made some mistakes, they rest in the past,
83. How can I begin 2 say I`m sorry.
I dint mean 2 upset u.
I hope tht u can 4gve me
84. I'm really "beary" sorry
85. FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
FMP
forgive me please!
86. I'm really
really really really
sorry
please forgive me!
87. I know I've hurt you
I wish I could undo
what I did
I'm really really sorry!
88. I was insensitive!
please forgive me
89. I'm so sorry for hurting your feelings
I take back my words
hope you'll forgive me
90. Im sorry to be smiling every time youre near. Im sorry my eyes twinkle whenever youre here. Im sorry that cupid has made his hit. Im sorry I love you, I cant help it.
91. 4give You Again ???
For All The Times u Made Me Cry??
For All The Things u Said About Me?
For All The Crap u Started?
For Stabing Me In The Back??
No I Wont 4give u ,
Not This Time
92. I have commited a sin to make u sad,
and am realising that im very bad,
so, plz forgive me to lessen the grief,
ur forgiveness will led 2 a relief,
Gorgive me Please
93. Im sorry 2 b smyling every time u r near.
Im sorry my eyez twinkle when ever u r here.
Im sorry dat cupid has made hiz hit.
Im sorry i love yu,
I cant help it.
94. I Know How Angry u r ...
&
Wat u Must B Going Through
So i Hope , u Know
How Sorry I m 4 All
That Happens Between Us ...
Please Forgive Me
95. How can I begin to say I`m sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.I’m sorry.
96. You are the twinkle of my eyes;
The smile on my lips;
The joy of my face;
Without you I am incomplete.
Relationship doesn’t get closer by meetings
but it is sweetend by THOUGHTS.
97. I Know How Angry You Are …
&
What You Must Be Going Through
So i Hope , You Know
How Sorry I Am For All
That Happens Between Us …
Please Forgive Me
98. How can I begin to say I am sorry.
I didn’t mean to upset you.
I hope that you can forgive me.
I am sorry.
99. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!
100. Forgive Me
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